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monday 5:54
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:18 pmMatthew was a kid from my old neighborhood a few years younger than me. I had lost touch with him and when we regained contact about three years ago he had developed schizophrenia.
Depending on his meds he is often more lucid and insightful than most people I know. If not, he is overtaken by caustic and violent fantasies of revenge. His emails are filled with inferences to magical thinking. Things along the lines of NY sports teams and players jersey numbers having deep significance, and being at a certain place when The Mets won the world series and how he predicted x or y would happen, like Bill Buckner's famous error in game 6, and that corresponding to the number of the bus he was taking to work at the time.
We chatted the other night and the last thing he told me was to look to god and to think deeply. He was very clear on that part: think deeply, alec, think deeply.
So after watching the game at my parents place, I lied in the dark in the spare bedroom and thought deeply. I thought about the serpent and the garden, and if the serpent was supposed to be the devil, or just walk on part in the story to ruin human innocence. i thought about the newsstand story and thought about tying that in. i thought about myself lying there in the dark, and how much longer i'll have to be in the weeds. i though deeply until i thought about god, and only heard silence, and fell asleep to the sound of my breathing.
Depending on his meds he is often more lucid and insightful than most people I know. If not, he is overtaken by caustic and violent fantasies of revenge. His emails are filled with inferences to magical thinking. Things along the lines of NY sports teams and players jersey numbers having deep significance, and being at a certain place when The Mets won the world series and how he predicted x or y would happen, like Bill Buckner's famous error in game 6, and that corresponding to the number of the bus he was taking to work at the time.
We chatted the other night and the last thing he told me was to look to god and to think deeply. He was very clear on that part: think deeply, alec, think deeply.
So after watching the game at my parents place, I lied in the dark in the spare bedroom and thought deeply. I thought about the serpent and the garden, and if the serpent was supposed to be the devil, or just walk on part in the story to ruin human innocence. i thought about the newsstand story and thought about tying that in. i thought about myself lying there in the dark, and how much longer i'll have to be in the weeds. i though deeply until i thought about god, and only heard silence, and fell asleep to the sound of my breathing.
