May. 30th, 2014 08:03 pm
[personal profile] planet_x_one
Now that I got every drop of moral relativism out of my system with my last post, I can list some notes.

1. H and I spoke about the relationship last week. I was finally able to tell her about the attempt. She was understanding and compassionate. That's just her way in almost everything where it matters. A weight lifted. She expressed her own fears, and we worked through them, talking and drinking wine. I'm not a particularly cautious person -- if you've read some of my misadventures, you know I'm given to episodes of impulsivity and self-exile. The odd part with this one, my hesitance with H, is my expectation she'd want me to be a normal, responsible adult. She said, "Let me worry about how normal and responsible I need you to be, and you just be yourself." And that freed me. We talked about a temporary live-together experiment. So everything is progressing. When I think about the last 10 months with her, we've never really had an argument, it's been peaceful.

2. Re-watching the last season of The Sopranos recently. The two-part, Jungian near-death dream episode is a masterpiece. Tony's transition into his shadow, Kevin Finnerty ('infinity', they even make a self-referencing joke about it) is so unsettling. I'm too beat to run through all the symbolism of alienation, guilt, identity, mortality, redemption, or Steve Buscemi as a psychopomp. I had to think the scenes couldn't be conceived on paper alone. For example, at the end there's a pretty reliable trope played out with Tony deciding whether to step through a doorway of a house (and die in real life), while at the same time he can hear the distant voice of his daughter (in the hospital room) calling him back to life past the trees and the wind in the dream scene. Nothing new so much there, but it's crafted so well. When James Gandolfini, acting not as Tony Soprano but as his shadow, says only, in a standard US accent, "I'm scared," the moment is completely electric.

3. I thought I had more to say but I'm full of chicken soup that I made. I don't cook much but I will take any challenge to this soup of mine. It will mess your soup up bad. Real bad.



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